"your highness, breakfast is ready."

and with those words my fellow servant has woken me up. she opened the curtains in my room and let the sunshine illuminate my skin. with a grumpy sound i sit up straight, stretch and walk up towards the mirror. "what's for breakfast today, greta?" "a fruit platter, your highness." as i walked towards my closet to pick out a dress, i realized that today was the day.

today i will meet the prince. bech sebastian thors is his name, i researched. i don't like that my father has arranged such a sudden meeting with such an abrupt decision to be made. marriage... why does everything revolve around just marrying any sort of other royalty and just to keep the legacy on? why can't i have my own choices. why can't i take my time?

i looked into the mirror and smile from embarrassment. "hairs a goddamn mess." i whispered to myself. the whole prince situation is just very odd to me. not just the abruptness, but... i don't know anything about him, even the way he looks. there sure must be paintings around, but... i mean.. i will see him today anyways. i'm getting anxious as i consider myself socially awkward and insecure. i don't think any person could truly like me, no matter on what level they would know me. they say that if you get to know someone better it starts to click more, but i think there's nothing about
me that ... "clicks".

with those thoughts i started to brush through my long dark hair to tame the birdsnest i have built in my sleep. i haven't been able to sleep well last night, as i was experiencing a strong heart ache. it's odd as i have never experienced such a thing.

sigh.

i slipped into my dress and servant greta stepped forward to help me close it at the back. it was a light rosé dress. it lightly falls down to my legs and is decorated with little silver details. with that i took a pearl headband and stuck it into my hair
as well as putting my shoes on and walked over to my make up table. sunscreen, moisturizer, lip balm, blush on the cheeks, a little eyeliner, lipstick, complete. and like that, i stepped out.

each person in the palace greets me with a kind smile and i greet them back, despite the whole prince situation not leaving my head. it torments me, actually. so when we arrived at the breakfast table, i decided to speak to my father about it.

"good morning, love" my father, the king of desirus, greets me. "sit down! we have to talk about your special day today. you remember who you will meet in a couple of hours, correct?" i start to bite into multiple strawberries and nod. "well, jessika, i can read your mind. i know that it shocked you to see it all happening so abruptly. but the prince of valoria seems to hold big interest in you. however, if it truly won't interest you to date him, there are multiple other princes that we can find. i know it used to be a rule to marry whoever the parental figures find, but you know we are changing the structure of things. we're part of the new, golden age. so, love, don't worry if things won't work out."

as father has struck me with those words, my mind began to calm down with the worries a little. i began to wonder even more about him, as he seems to hold interest in me already.

but.. how? how can he... feel that towards such a weird person like me? my face is uneven, i have a crooked smile, my nose doesn't form into a button and i just don't hold the grace and delicacy of a real princess. surely, i was born as the princess of desirus, and my folk loves me, but why? there is such much better. the way i am is not special in any way. i have always not felt like a role like this belongs to me. but mother has always told me she was the same. but father saw more in her, she said.

...

but i am not mother. i'm jessika. i'm... no good.

...
...

bech sebastian thors. we will meet very soon.

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it is 20 minutes before 3 pm, the time the prince will arrive for a supposed "meet up" with me, and let me tell you, i am panicking like crazy now. i want to cry, actually. i feel like i am horrifying, like i am cursed with a spell of eternal ugliness, or something of that sort. god, i just can't believe i will meet him now. why am i even freaking out this way? i don't know him. but... i'm scared. oh god am i scared.

...

"your highness, the king has ordered me to take you to the main palace floor as the prince is on his way."

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.

i am visibly torn. i am visibly falling apart. my hands are shaking and the gaze towards my servant was full of terror, but diluded to not scare her. i can usually hide my distress better than this, but this is something else. what the hell is going on?

"your highness, are you alright? you seem to be shaking. shall i bring you something to dri-"
"i'm good, greta, thank you. it's all good. let's go, yes?"
she nodded lightly, bowed and put her hands behind her back. "yes, your highness."

so we walk towards the main hall and my entire body seems to not register anything. it's like i'm completely out of it. i'm so worried of being perceived by him. so worried of not being enough. it will be so embarrassing. i can't even speak. it's insane. i want to bury myself in the ground.

without even realizing it, we arrived at the main hall and my body snapped right back to reality as father was standing in front of me, welcoming me with a smile.

"are you ready?"
"to be honest, no. but i will try."
"oh love. i promise you it will be okay. if he's not absolutely entranced by you, we will kick
him out of the kingdom, you hear me?"
"father..."
he laughs deeply and pats me on the back. "no but really jessika. it will be okay. oh? and HE arrived already! look look!"

...
HE'S HERE?

...

the big front door opened and we stood right in front of the staircase, under a big dangly chandelier. sunlight immediately greets me, a little too harshly though for me to see the face of a tall figure walking forward.

the lights dimmed down a little.

and there he is.

prince bech sebastian thors.

...

what the fuck?


a lightning shock entered my body and hit every single vein existent for me. my pulse increased so much that i could hear my blood rush to my head just by standing there, observing. watching. taking him in.

this is bech sebastian thors. this is him.

this... is him.

black hair that is parted in the middle ever so gracefully, each strain shaping his face so perfectly. features that seem like a carefully crafted artwork made by multiple sculptors to define perfection. his eyes alone could shut down my entire body, as they are so dangerously powerful. a gaze that literally disrupts the air in front of me, that causes my vision to glitch because of a body shutdown. body so lean and robust it makes me question if i'm even allowed to look. it feels like i have to pay to see this. like the museum just visited me, and not vice versa.

he grasps my attention even more because he is dressed in all black, a lovely uniform shaped just to his liking, perfectly pointing out his attractive physique, all decorated with silver detailing over the sleeves and neckline. the garment making his pale skin pop, causing a disruption in my system.

he seems to not go with the societal norms. i have never seen any prince go out in all black. it's usually whites or royal blues that a prince is required to put on, but he is different. not only that,
but he seems to have pierced ears. a sign that he absolutely stands against the royal system, as those are forbidden for male counterpants, and absolutely forbidden if done more than once on each ear. he's so captivating to look at. as he takes his steps forward, his body moving in a domineering way. like he got full control over himself. like he knows what to do. there's something so alluring about him to watch. i can't help but glue my eyes onto him.

i have officially failed to breathe. i have nothing more to say.

but i have to talk.

"greetings to you, prince bech thors!" my father approaches him with laughter and a pat on the back, in which the younger smiles right back, smile whiter than the pearl earrings i have decided to put on today. he bows deeply to show respects to my father.

"greetings to you too, your majesty, king of desirus." his frosty eyes shifted back and forth between me and my father, and my breath is failing with each second bypassing.

he steps forward to me this time and i feel myself turning redder than the devil. shortly after, he bows down again and put one of his hands back, while the other covers his stomach. "hello, princess of desirus. it is my absolute pleasure to get to know you more." he comes back up again and shifts his focus onto my dress this time, looking up and down. "you look wonderful. this color really compliments you well, your highness."

...
what the fuck am i supposed to do?
i can't just collapse here, right? oh god, do something. stop thinking. do.

"m-my absolute pleasure too, prince of valoria." i stutter and nervously fiddle my fingers around. he seems to notice and smile to himself, asserting himself and fixing his silky hair.

oh god, what is he thinking? i need to die.

immediately after, the gentleman proceeds to offer me his elbow to put my arm around. "may i, your highness?", he asks, his deep voice filling my ears up with a pleasant vibration. i start to almost lose consciousness with his request and not only that, but my tongue seems to have tied +itself as well. with that, i have decided to just nod and put it around, feeling the cold material
of his uniform rub against my skin. but...

it seems to be okay?

he seems to like this?

that's why he offered to do this, right?

pff. shut up, jessika.

"i will leave the both of you alone. how about you introduce prince bech to all the areas in the palace and maybe you will get to talk like that?"

"that sounds like a great idea." bech exclaimed, "this place looks so heavenly even from the outside!"

i want to cry so bad. i don't know what to say, what to do. i am so lost.

i just nod and drag him along. "see you", i say to father, and we begin to part ways.

i am linking arms with a handsome prince right next to me.

how is any of this reality right now?

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"the garden. this is my favorite place, actually." i exclaim and twirl around as i walk in front of the prince. his gaze doesn't seem to leave me ever, and it still feels like a glitch is happening whenever they meet. a lightning building up whenever his eyes look into mine.


"is that so? why?" he looks around curiously, the sun hitting is icy blue eyes, reminiscent of sizzling lemonade and clear waters.

"especially in the summertime it feels like here is an optimal place to just be dancing around, reading a book, doing the gardening or playing with my cat. it just brightens my mood immensely. there is also this area that is a part of the garden but also not really? it's at the border of the garden, behind a big tree. that is my favorite area, the quiet area. i love to just lay there and breathe. escape from everyday life."

he extends his arm and asks me to lead him to the area, in which i incline immediately. i have never shared that area, not even with mother or father, with friends, nobody.

and so we walk towards it all. everything is filled with tall, rosy bushes covering the area as well as tall grass, and sit down. i start noticing his eyes observing my very move, and i begin to feel myself sweating.

"this is indeed a lovely area, jessika."
"right? it's beautiful. it brings me lots of joy."

we decide to sit down and look at the sky, covered in a sweet shade of baby blue, taking in every cloud and playing a game of finding cool looking ones. we both show our creativity and bond over it.

...

i do find myself looking at him instead of the clouds, taking in each feature he holds that is being illuminated by the sun. his pointy strong nose that scrunches at times when he laughs, his rosy lips that produce such lovely sounds, his high cheekbones that bring the structure of his face forward, his soft skin practically begging to be touched and kissed.

i sigh.

wow, heaven is here, right now, right next to me.

...

as the game ends, we just begin to he begins to place himself a little closer to me, this time a little more frontal than from the side.

"jessika, i have to tell you something."
"y-yes?" i gulp loudly.
"damn that was loud." he laughed.
"H-HEY!" i yelled, laughing back.
"no but... really. basically... ahh, haha. i hope you don't find me weird after this, or something."
i brush my fingers through his hair and visibly shake my head. "bech, i could never find you weird. never. you are so fascinating and i feel so safe with you, really. please, tell me."

he nervously laughs at my request and looks down, possibly trying to put his words together like a puzzle.

"i think i have seen you in my dreams before, jessika. and i am convinced we knew eachother in a past
life. or, i don't even know when or how, but... i dreamt of you frequently before, i think, or a figure that appeared very similar to your personality as well as your appearance. i started to
obsessively research you over that, and i began to really wonder if maybe this is a sign of the universe. i have never travelled so far to see someone before, really. and... it all seems to add up.i do not want to force you into any uncomfortable situations and if you don't care about me like tha-"

before he continues any longer have leaned in to kiss him, slowly and passionately. something took over me
that thought this was the perfect timing for it. here, right now, in my special place, with the prince of my dreams. saliva brushes over my lightly as the kiss becomes deeper. i start involving my tongue and i feel his smile forming up.

i pull back lightly and begin to whisper. "this right here is what i've been wanting to do ever since you entered the goddamn room." in which the prince just deepens the kiss by a thousand times, area filling with sounds of panting, whimpers and clashing tongues.

...

am i even allowed to do this? does he want this?

i pull back quickly and bech sits there, looking comfortably at me, eyes lightly closed, neck exposed and lips lightly parted. god, he looks like fucking heaven. i would ravish him right now all over again.

"hm." he says.
"i- i'm. was this.. b-bad? i-i-"

"who told you that i wanted you to stop, princess?"

a tingling sensation took over my body, in which i smirked before going back in, this time letting him go from sitting to laying on the ground, mouths clashing loudly as i place myself on top of him.

"i.. i love this, bech. you're all i fucking want."
he lightly yanks my hair back and stops the kissing. "tsk tsk tsk, princess, watch your profanity. you don't want anyone to hear you're not a good obedient girl, hm?"
"b-bech..." i gasp.

he... is so cocky. is it allowed to be this perfect? i'm starting to let out a deep moan.

"t-take me. please, sir." i beg.
"tsk tsk, bunny. you know i love you begging like this and showing your real true self. give me all of it, okay?"
"mmmhhhhhmmhmh", i whimper. "okay bech. take me. take meeeeee."
and that was a signal for him to keep on clashing his rosy, wonderful lips against me.

the sounds of heavy breathing and murmurs of love fill our ears all over again.

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the sky turns darker and darker and after a heated make out session, bech and i walk up to my room. i don't ever leave his side, in fact, i cling to his arm continuosly, looking up to him and admiring his entire being all over. it kind of hits me like the sun. it's beautiful and the rays of light have an
effect on me that spread throughout my entire body. it makes my body tingle and sting and i get addicted to the thrill of rubbing my thumb against his fingers. he looks back at me frequently and pats my head, sometimes even stopping me just to lift me up and to kiss me again. i seem to be walking on a dream.

it's funny because i read up a book on drugs before, and how they affect you. you can take them in by injection, inhalation and ingestion and they cause large amounts of dopamine, that helps regulate our emotions, motivation and feelings of pleasure, to flood the brain and produce a so called "high". i think with bech, it was as simple as the inhalation of his scent that drove me crazy. this must be what love does to you.

we both sit down on the bed and we keep on holding hands as well as randomly initiating kisses.

but i do realize that he has to leave the palace soon.

"when is your time to go, bech?"
"damn, do you want me gone so bad?" he smirks.
i roll my eyes and cling even closer to him. it's hilarious how even the closest closeness is not... close enough. i can't hold enough of him in my hands. i want to melt into him, but would that even be close enough?

"not at all NOT AT ALL! i'm asking because of the opposite, actually. i don't want you to go at all."
i begin to pout and put my head on his shoulder.
"babyyyy." he answers, turning my face to his and kissing me deeply, hands snaking down my neck and
shoulders lightly, leaving goosebumps all over my complexion. my hands are lovingly caressing his nape and scratching his back lightly.

despite all these lovely gestures, i am still anxious about his intentions. i am convinced he feels the same but also... is that so? IS that so?

i still am worried if he loves me, or if this is not as serious to him.

i might as well just ask, right?

"bech?"
"yes, bunny?"
"hihi..."
"jessika."
"oh. oh yes oh my god. um." i collect myself again. "do you really love me?"

he stands up and takes my hand, laughing and twirling me around on one spot.

"silly girl can't figure that out despite everything i've told her today? you truly are oblivious. i feel so much for you, so so much."

"but... what is it that you feel, bech?"

he smirks smugly before lightly raising my hand to his mouth to leave a gentle kiss. "look out for clues, princess."

clues?

"we will see each other another time, as i promised you, very soon." he lets go of my hand and i pull it back slowly, as my stomach dropped. i had to realize it. he has to leave.

he has to leave.
...

he has to leave he has to leave he has to leave he has to leave he has to leave he has to leave.

no. i don't want it. i need him here. i-

"baby."

...huh?!

he comes up close to me, takes my chin with his long fingers and looks me lovingly into my eyes. i'm in complete shock. full, utter shock.

and there, he leaves another sweet, comforting kiss on my lips, melting our lips into eachother like honey.

i am so in love.

"we're all good my angel. don't worry, i'm not going anywhere. we are destined, after all. i have not let you go ever since i discovered you. and i especially won't now, knowing what beauty and grace you hold within. i promise. i promise you that so, so deeply. goodbye, bunny."

he said all this as he held my face with his big hands and looked into my eyes with his icey stare.
i jumped on him one last time and cried. and cried. and cried.
"p-please. bech p-please stay here. live here!" i shouted.
"baby. first i have to get all my stuff, you know! selfish little girl."
i giggle but still bury my face deeply in his chest, taking a last deep breathe of his manly,
intoxicating cologne.

he puts my head back up by the chin, his gaze still glued to my face. "i do have to go now, actually. i extended the time by over 3 hours already. i didn't expect to meet such a needy princess, you know? no, no, but really, i have to immediately get back to my kingdom to arrange a marriage to you, you know? like, it's decided. we're marrying eachother."

he lowers me slowly and kisses me one last time before i hear nothing but footsteps towards the door
that leave me breathless.

i begin to shudder.
i can't even explain how infatuated i am.
how much i need him here all the time.
i feel his touches linger on my body, still.
tears are rolling down my hot cheeks, and my body feels liveless.

i began to lower my head and look out of my balcony to see him leave the kingdom on his black horse. so graceful and handsome, even how he rides away. it takes me breath away, even how simple he sits on a horse. he is truly a starboy. interstellar and glowing in his own special way. i believe that.

but.. does he really love me? is that marriage stuff just jokes and play?

the moon reflects onto my eyes as i feel the nostalgia over this day already. but something specific won't leave my head. "clues" he said. what did he mean?

my eyes began to scan my whole surrounding, but the balcony was insignificant. nothing outside that holds any clue, either. a look into my room would perhaps be more successful, i thought.

the bed is undone, my make up is sorted, the mirror reflects an image of a blushy me. nothing odd. nothing that could lead to some sort of clue.

until i see 4 cards on my from a hearts deck. i don't even play such a game, i actually suck at cards! now that is odd. but why is this here?

i look at it more, and yet i'm confused. i'm not good at riddles, he is so mean to be letting me decode things! i'm so bad at this.

wait.

...

it reads...

LOVE.


"what is it that you feel, bech?"

...

he left this as an answer.

he feels LOVE.